Are you doing everything you can to get pregnant, yet wondering what else you should try?
Another supplement? A different fertility treatment? More testing? Another change to your diet?
When you’re trying to conceive, especially when navigating fertility over 40, it’s easy to believe that the answer must be something you haven’t discovered yet.
But what if there’s another part of your fertility journey that deserves your attention?
I’m Julie Zhenning, a fertility mentor with more than 26 years of experience in fertility and women’s health. Today, I want to share the story of a woman I had the privilege of mentoring.
After five years of trying to get pregnant, two heartbreaking miscarriages, and countless attempts to improve her fertility, she began experiencing her journey differently.
And eventually, something wonderful happened.
She became pregnant the day before her 40th birthday.
Today, she’s the mother of a beautiful little girl.
What makes her story especially meaningful isn’t simply that she became pregnant. It’s the transformation she experienced before pregnancy—and how that transformation continues to support her in motherhood.
Five Years of Trying to Get Pregnant
Her motherhood journey began much like that of many women who are excited about welcoming a baby.
When pregnancy didn’t happen after the first few months, she began researching ways to improve her chances.
She changed her diet, eliminated gluten and dairy, gave up coffee and alcohol, and started acupuncture. She consulted fertility specialists and underwent testing that revealed several health conditions that might be affecting her fertility.
Although fertility treatments were suggested, she initially decided to explore a more holistic fertility approach.
She enrolled in a comprehensive functional medicine program and spent the next several years investigating practically every aspect of her health.
There were more tests, supplements, dietary changes, and things to monitor.
She genuinely believed she was doing everything possible to give herself the best chance of becoming a mother.
And yet, pregnancy remained elusive.
Two Pregnancies, Two Heartbreaking Losses
About a year into her functional medicine program, she discovered my YouTube channel and began listening to my fertility meditations.
Six weeks later, she became pregnant for the first time.
She and her partner saw their baby’s heartbeat on the ultrasound. But at the following appointment, they learned that she’d experienced a miscarriage.
Six months later, she became pregnant again.
Once again, they saw a heartbeat. And once again, she experienced a pregnancy loss.
Further medical testing didn’t provide a clear explanation.
For anyone who has experienced infertility or recurrent pregnancy loss, you may recognize the difficult questions that can follow.
Why did this happen? What am I missing? Is there something else I should be doing?
She had already devoted years to investigating her physical health, making lifestyle changes, and exploring possible explanations.
But she was still searching for answers.
And this became an important turning point in her motherhood journey.
What If Your Body Isn’t Something That Needs Fixing?
Eventually, she joined my fertility mentorship program.
At first, she was still searching for answers. But gradually, her attention began shifting inward.
Through our group calls, exercises, and ongoing practices, she became more aware of her thoughts and how she related to her body.
She realized she’d spent years approaching her body as though something was fundamentally wrong with it.
Every symptom needed investigating. Every unexpected result became another problem to solve. Every unsuccessful cycle seemed to reinforce the belief that her body wasn’t doing what it should.
But what if she could begin relating to her body differently?
Instead of constantly evaluating what her body was or wasn’t doing, she started appreciating everything it was already doing for her.
She became more aware of moments when she slipped into worry, criticism, or fear, and practiced responding differently.
She also began spending less time researching fertility and scrolling through social media, choosing instead to engage with experiences that helped her feel supported.
This wasn’t an overnight transformation.
It was the accumulation of small changes practiced consistently over many months.
Gradually, her relationship with her body shifted from constant vigilance toward greater trust.
And that change began influencing how she experienced her entire life.
Holistic Fertility Is About More Than Physical Interventions
When women hear the term holistic fertility, they often think about nutrition, supplements, acupuncture, or lifestyle changes.
Those approaches may have a place in a comprehensive fertility plan.
But in my work with women experiencing fertility challenges, including fertility over 40, I look at the whole person.
How do you relate to your body?
What do you believe about your ability to become a mother?
Are you living in constant anticipation of the next test result, or can you experience moments of peace and enjoyment today?
These questions don’t replace medical care, and emotional changes cannot guarantee pregnancy or prevent miscarriage.
But they matter because your motherhood journey is also part of your life.
You deserve to experience greater connection, appreciation, and self-trust while pursuing the family you desire.
And sometimes, the most meaningful next step isn’t adding another intervention.
It’s becoming aware of how you’re experiencing the journey you’re already on.
Learning to See Herself as a Future Mother
As her relationship with her body began changing, she started exploring another important part of her experience.
How did she actually see herself as a mother?
She reflected on her childhood, her relationship with her own mother, and the beliefs she’d developed about motherhood over the years.
Although she’d wanted a baby for so long, she recognized that parts of herself hadn’t fully embraced the possibility of becoming a mother.
So she began imagining that future more intentionally.
Not simply a positive pregnancy test, but holding her child, caring for her, and experiencing the ordinary moments of family life.
She allowed herself to look forward to motherhood instead of waiting until pregnancy was confirmed to imagine it.
For women who explore fertility meditation, visualization, or a personal sense of spirit baby connection, this kind of reflection may feel familiar.
A spirit baby connection is a personal spiritual belief or experience, not a medically established way to influence conception.
What matters in this story is that she began allowing herself to experience more of the love, anticipation, and possibility associated with motherhood.
And that opened another important realization.
She didn’t have to postpone enjoying her life until she became pregnant.
You Can Want a Baby and Still Love Your Life Today
For years, her attention had been directed toward the next milestone.
The next appointment. The next cycle. The next possible answer.
She had become so focused on reaching motherhood that it was difficult to appreciate the life she was already living.
But gradually, she began practicing something different.
She allowed herself to enjoy time with her partner, pursue her interests, and experience happiness without feeling that she was abandoning her dream.
She could appreciate her present life while still looking forward to becoming a mother.
She could take meaningful action for her fertility without believing she needed to control every detail of the outcome.
This is something I often emphasize in my holistic fertility work.
You don’t have to choose between being proactive about your fertility and enjoying your life.
There’s room for both.
And for women navigating fertility over 40, when every month can feel especially consequential, this perspective can be incredibly meaningful.
Your motherhood journey doesn’t begin with a positive pregnancy test.
You’re living an important chapter of your life right now.
The Day Before Her 40th Birthday, Everything Changed
After approximately five years of trying to conceive, she discovered she was pregnant the day before her 40th birthday.
Today, she’s the mother of a beautiful little girl.
I want to be clear about something important.
Her emotional transformation happened before her pregnancy, but that doesn’t establish that her mindset changes caused her to conceive.
Fertility is biologically complex, and no particular meditation, belief, or emotional practice can guarantee pregnancy.
What her story demonstrates is that she found a different way to experience her life while continuing to pursue motherhood.
She developed greater appreciation for her body, more trust in herself, and more enjoyment in her everyday experiences.
And these changes became valuable in ways she hadn’t originally anticipated.
The Transformation She Carried Into Motherhood
Recently, she shared her experience with our mentorship community.
One of the things that touched me most was hearing how the work she’d done before becoming pregnant continues to help her today.
Motherhood is beautiful, but it also brings challenges.
There are exhausting days, unexpected emotions, and moments when you don’t know exactly what to do.
She described how she’s now more aware of what she’s feeling, more willing to ask for support, and more able to respond to herself with patience and understanding.
These are qualities she began developing during her fertility journey.
She originally came to my program because she wanted to get pregnant.
But the personal growth she experienced along the way became something she could carry into motherhood.
To me, that’s what makes her story so powerful.
She didn’t simply reach the destination she’d been dreaming about.
She discovered a different way of experiencing her life—and brought that transformation into the next chapter.
What This Fertility Success Story Might Mean for You
If you’re trying to get pregnant, particularly if you’re navigating fertility over 40, I imagine you’re already doing so much to give yourself the best possible chance.
Perhaps you’re researching IVF, monitoring your cycles, taking supplements, or exploring holistic fertility support.
Your commitment matters.
But I’d love to invite you to consider something alongside everything you’re already doing.
What if you gave yourself permission to enjoy the woman you’re becoming?
What if you began appreciating your body for everything it does for you, even while working through fertility challenges?
What if you allowed yourself to imagine the beautiful relationship you hope to share with your future child?
And what if you found more joy in your life today, without waiting for pregnancy to make that possible?
These questions aren’t about ignoring medical realities or believing that positive thinking guarantees a baby.
They’re about recognizing that your emotional well-being, your relationship with yourself, and your experience of life deserve attention, too.
That’s the foundation of my approach to holistic fertility and the motherhood journey.
Discover What Deserves Your Attention in Your Fertility Journey
Sometimes, the most valuable next step isn’t doing more.
It’s understanding where your attention and energy might make the greatest difference.
I’ve created a free One Egg Assessment to help women exploring fertility over 40 and other fertility challenges reflect on what they may need most right now.
In just a few minutes, you’ll explore whether greater clarity, more self-trust, better support, or a different relationship with pressure could help you move forward with greater intention.
Take the Free One Egg Assessment
You can also watch my YouTube video, “After 5 Years of Trying for a Baby, Everything Changed,” to hear more about this woman’s inspiring motherhood journey.
A Final Message From Julie Zhenning
You don’t have to choose between giving yourself every opportunity to become pregnant and enjoying the life you’re living today.
You can continue exploring your medical options, supporting your physical health, and taking meaningful action toward motherhood.
And you can also nurture your relationship with yourself, appreciate your body, and find beauty in the woman you’re becoming.
Because the life you’re creating matters before your baby arrives, too.
Website: https://juliezhenning.com
Julie Zhenning is a fertility mentor with over 26 years of experience in fertility and women’s health. She helps women over 40 navigate their fertility journeys with greater clarity, confidence, and connection.
Disclaimer: This article is educational and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice. Always verify AI-generated medical information and discuss treatment decisions with your healthcare provider.
